we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize