I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
