Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He? As in you personified your dick?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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