So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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