do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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