The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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