Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize