Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
