god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
