Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
