I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
