We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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