Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
