She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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