I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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