Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
