I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
