just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
