WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
