i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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