Where is the hickey?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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