i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i've created a new STD.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
