Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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