our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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