Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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