I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she woke up with a sticky ear
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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