I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
