I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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