He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize