Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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