i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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