I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
