What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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