found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
