Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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