when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
someone owes me an orgasm
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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