We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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