Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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