Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
