Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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