last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
