it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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