You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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