Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
