i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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