The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My bed smells like the plague
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
