Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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