So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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