You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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