if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
