Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
be right there i have to get my cape
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize