just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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