smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
