glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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