I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I will pee on everything he values.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
