I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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