so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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