Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
