Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
