He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
