No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
