i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck appropriateness.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
