he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
