I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
