Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
