Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
