Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
