Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
