shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
