Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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