well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
