If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize