I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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