the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize