I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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