A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
