I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
