She said her name was "party"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
