Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
are you so shy because you have an std?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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