Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize