There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
