I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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